Perhaps I jumped the gun. Maybe I didn’t give BSH a fair chance. Being the terrible human being that I am, I went back on OKCupid and revamped my profile and pictures, to generate new interest and have the opportunity to start talking to other guys again on Sunday. This was the day BSH was attending a wake of a friend who committed suicide, and I wasn’t about to ask him about his ex girlfriend posting pictures about moving out of his house two weeks ago. Instead I made an assumption, and wrote him off, before he could even address it.
Here’s his story: 6 years ago he moved to the area for work, not knowing anyone. 4 years ago he began dating his ex girlfriend (who is a total weirdo by the way…she likes to dress up in costumes like a mermaid and swim around in a fake tail), and 3 years ago he got a dog. He broke up with mermaid chick in January. He travels extensively for work, often internationally, 2 weeks at a time, about 5-6 times a year. After they broke up, he asked her to continue staying at the house when he traveled to watch the dog. She was only staying there when he wasn’t home. Over the course of their dating, as well as post-dating dog-watching time, she essentially moved a bunch of crap in to his house for storage. Several weeks ago, he finally asked her to get all her shit out of his place while she was staying there, and he was traveling. Perhaps in her mind it was the final nail in the coffin for their relationship, but he said it was over in January. He was (unfairly he admitted) using her to watch his dog while he was away.
I will give him the benefit of the doubt.
He then called me out on updating my OKCupid profile, and knew there was clearly something wrong. I feel bad for not addressing the issue first, instead of going off and throwing a hissy fit. He reaffirmed his desire to pursue things with me, and said that if we continue along the same path, he’ll completely cutting off all communication with ex’s if that is something I want. I really think there’s no reason be be “friends” with ex’s after you break up….for the record). Perhaps the fact that I have never slept with someone is the reason I am ravenously jealous of the idea of exes; knowing, knowing they have been with the guy I care about. That will be a topic for another day…
He then went on to explain he signed on to OKCupid to delete his profile, and when he looked at mine for the last time he noticed I had updated it. (Ouch) He told me that while we’re obviously not in a relationship, he has decided not to communicate with or see anyone else right now and asked what my thoughts were and if I am seeing anyone else. I’m not sure how I feel about that at this stage, given how quickly men come and go out of my life and told him that’s a place I’d like to get to very soon. I did not agree to becoming exclusive at this time, given the events of this weekend, and that fact we’ve only been out four times. However, he does have a point about how seeing multiple people at one time “complicates things.” Since I have no one else really on the horizon, maybe I’ll take some time to see where this goes with him.
So, do you think he was full of crap about the ex? Or am I being ridiculous?