I spent all day thinking about Bronze Star Hero today. Yesterday he asked if he could sneak out of work early and take me to lunch, since I was working from home. I happily obliged and he was at my place by 12:30. Earlier that morning he had found out that a close friend of his had committed suicide. Although I don’t know him that well yet, I am very optimistic about where this could go and I feel that he has genuine intentions towards me. I wanted to do what I could to be there for him. He was going to be taking off to New York the next morning, and he implied he’d like to spend time with me since he would be out of state for the next 5-6 days to deal with the tragedy. When he first showed up, he spent about five minutes talking about the situation and how in shock he was, but the rest of the day he didn’t bring it up. So I felt it was my duty to keep his mind off it until he could be around family and friends. We went down to the square and sat outside at an outdoor patio for a nice, relaxed lunch.
The day was sunny and warm, and was as perfect as it gets for early October in New England. I spent the good portion of the lunch trying to stay focused on what he was talking about, because he was still taking much more than I am used to guys talking on a date. I’m usually the one blabbering away. That and I’m okay with silence when I’m with others. So I am definitely learning a thing or two about patience and paying attention with him! (Not a bad skill for me to work on). The thing I really like about this guy is he seems so genuine in wanting to find love. Not only that, but he also seems like he would do absolutely anything to make sure his girl is happy and taken care of. I can see this in his actions towards me in simple things like: making an effort to grab the door or open the door for me, picking up my doggie bag off the table before I even get up to carry it for me, offering to switch chairs if the sun was in my eyes, or I was too hot, refusing to let me pay, running over to make sure I was safe when I was standing on a stool to grab something in my closet, and the list goes on.
I once read a book called The List: 7 Ways to Tell if He’s Going to Marry You in 30 Days of Less that I use loosely for my guiding principles in online dating. The whole premise is that when a guy is ready to settle down, and he thinks he has found “the one,” there are 7 signs that can tip you off about his mind set in the first month of dating:
- He’ll make the first move – Yes, but I botched this first time around
- He’ll contact her in 24 to 48 hours to set up a first date – Yup, we met up 48 hours after talking
- He’ll make the first date easy and fun – Yup, we met up for quick drinks in a convenient spot for me
- He’ll contact her within 24 hours of the first date to set up another date – The second date was already set up before our first!
- He’ll talk to her every day and spend all his free time with her – He’d see me every day since we’ve met if he could
- He’ll demonstrate unconditional loyalty – He hasn’t signed on to OKCupid for days, and said I’m the only girl he’s talking to/seeing
- He’ll talk about marrying her in concrete terms – He’s already asking where I’d want to live, how many kids I want, if I’d want to be a stay-at-home mom, and sent me a picture of the church he wants to get married in….
I don’t need a book to tell me how he feels about me though. Today he sent me a message saying how “glad he was that I came in to his life.” After four dates (two of which were spending 1/2 a day together) I am really starting to feel a glimmer of hope with this guy. And not just “oh he’s hot” or “he checks off a bunch of boxes” but there’s a je ne sais quoi with him. However, I am still just as awkward about opening myself up with my honest, optimistic feelings towards him, as well as my desire to show him physical affection. I supposed I’ve still got my guard up. Which makes me super awkward.