I made a boo boo.
After I told Guido that I didn’t think it was going anywhere, it was all quiet on the 42 year old dating scene. However, about a week later he reached out again and asked if I’d like to go for a ride on his motorcycle. I told him when we first went out I’d never been on one, and asked if he could take me. Since I prefaced our mini-break up that I’d be open to being friends, I figured, he gets the picture. Right?
First he asked me to meet him at “his” house, which I objected to doing. I had a feeling it was somehow going to turn in to meeting his Italian mother, and was a place I didn’t want to go! So he came and picked me up on the bike at my apartment. We rode all over the countryside for the entire afternoon, it was really a nice day. There’s something so sexy about being on the back of a bike: having to put trust in the guy not killing you, and clutching on for dear life to his torso. You can’t but help be turned on.
We went to drinks in the city on the bike later that day. At the bar, he wanted to get in to it. He called me out on not wanting to go out with him and wanted to know why. I danced around the real reasons: he’s 42, lives at home, has a high school education, and no ambition outside his job as a mechanic in the family business. Instead I mumbled about us “wanting different things in life” or “being at different places in life” and he wasn’t picking up what I was puttin’ down. I eluded to wanting to travel, maybe move someplace else, continue with my education, etc., but he called me out on being superficial, and that a connection and strong values are what really matter. I agree with him to some extent, but the fact that I don’t feel like I respect him, or can really even hold an intelligent conversation with him does matter also. He spent more time that afternoon justifying why I should want to be with him, opposed to listening to my concerns.
I told him I wanted to take things casual, as friends with no pressure, and if something develops from that then great. I emphasized the no pressure. When he dropped me off he kissed me. He’s not a great kisser, by the way, so he doesn’t have that going for him either. He then said as I walked in my building, “You can call me you know…” No pressure! He’s continued to text multiple times a day since last weekend, continues to ask me out and calls me out on not initiating conversation. He’s pushing me away by acting that way, so I’m doing the fade away. I don’t really feel is necessary to “break up” a second time with someone I’ve been on 3 dates with!