I’ve had a very busy dating this week. Perhaps it’s thanks to St. Raphael, the patron saint of those seeking a marriage partner, since I’ve been praying a novena to him. I think I need to remind St. Ralphy that I’m looking for quality, not quantity!!
Earlier this week Italian Pilot weaseled his way over to my apartment Thursday night. I had plans to meet up with him late afternoon, but he always manages to only be available in the evenings lately…and he just wanted to “hang out” and “watch a movie.” So I did my best to act like a prude, but he managed to sneak an awkward kiss in and inevitably got me to cuddle with him. He also inevitably managed to start rubbing the bare skin of my hip, to working his way to my back, and then making an attempt to sneak down the back of my pants. I managed to grab his hand, whack him in the chest and confidently say, “I don’t think so, you sneak. Act like a gentleman,” all in one swift movement. He hung around for a little while, and then took off. He’s texted me a few times since, so I don’t think my actions totally turned him off, but I think it’s time to pull the chord on this little adventure.
This week I also ran across a profile on OkCupid of a guy I had spoken to on the phone months ago. I remember talking to him and thinking he spent an awful lot of time talking (ie. bragging) about himself, so I was rather unimpressed. Since I was taking off for a vacation, he told me he’d text me while I was away, to keep the fire lit essentially, and plan a date when I returned. He stopped texting halfway through my trip and I never heard from him again. I wasn’t too broken up about it because the phone conversation was somewhat of a turn off. Well I was surprised to see how high a match percentage OK had us at, so I reached out again. He was cute. A few days later we met up for drinks.
I was pleasantly surprised to find out how much we had in common in terms of world views as well as what we’re looking for. He’s 38, a bit older, but I’d prefer guys who have their shit together. He’s got an impressive list of worldy things worthy of bragging about: a Bronze Star Medal from active service, for one; a good career; a multiple home owner; good looks and a nice body; master’s degree, that old-school Italian idea of how to treat a woman in terms of chivalry (paying, opening doors, protecting, etc) and claims to be serious about his Catholic faith (even though he’s not a regular Mass-goer). By the way, I don’t particularly like Italian men because I think they tend to be full of themselves, and are notorious for cheating. So it’s just coincidental that I’ve been dating so many of them lately. If a seemingly good guy comes along, I’m not going to turn him down because a preconceived stereotype.
We went on a second date yesterday at the museum. He picked me up at my apartment, and arrived 10 minutes early. He looked and smelled nice, and greeted me with a kind hug. There was a bit of a snafu with the tickets once we got there, and he was calm, patient and kind to the idiot behind the desk. While inside one of the exhibit halls I was really cold, so he rubbed my hands and arm the entire time to warm me up. He then offered to buy snacks/coffee while we waited for the next exhibit to open. Is was there that I sat in a seat covered in a sticky mess (presumably left by some lovely family with children), and he insisted I get up and he take my chair (even though it was already too late).
We took some time out of the day to just sit and talk getting to know one another. I felt he was being open and honest enough with me to drop the chastity bomb. It felt good to get it out of the way. One reason I felt compelled to do so was that he answered the OKCupid question “Do you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them?” in the negative. I think a lot of these Italian guys actually appreciate a traditional, pure girl, as they tend to be very traditional and old school themselves (even if they’re not necessarily chaste). He said he was impressed, and that was a good thing. We had a lovely afternoon and he convinced me to go to dinner afterwards as well. When he dropped me off he gave me a kiss on the cheek and asked if he could see me again sometime this week.
I really like this guy so far. He only downfall is that his personality is very reflective of my initial impression on the phone with him: he talks a LOT and about himself incessantly. I’m hoping it’s just nerves and that his intentions are to impress me because he likes me, and not so much that’s he’s self absorbed. Only time will tell.