I’m increasingly feeling weirder and weirder about being a virgin. Not necessarily that I’m regretting the decision that I’ve made, but I feel like a freak of nature. Honestly at this point I couldn’t even be open to having a ‘hookup” if I wanted. The idea of waiting until marriage is too engrained in my identity.
Earlier today I was listening to a talk show about love and relationships. The topic of discussion revolved around a chick who called in and was confused about a guy with whom she went on a few dates, then had sex, and then he did the “fade away.” One guy called in to suggest that it was because she put out immediately and he lost respect for her. Bingo!
Later the discussion turned to a woman who was concerned because the guy she was dating didn’t want to have sex with her right away. He told her that he actually cared about her and wanted to wait. If he didn’t care about her then he would just sleep with her like all the previous hookups he’d had. The host suggested that he had emotional issues and that he needed to see a therapist.
I recently went out with two female friends to the bar. They both got drunk, so it was bound to be a shit-show. The first one turned and said to me, “You’re not going to approve of this story…but I’m going to tell you anyway.” She proceeded to tell me about a meeting a random guy at the bar last weekend, taking him back to her place and sleeping with him. They went to her place because his roommate was a “real bitch.” Well, next morning she came to find out his “roommate” was his long-time, live-in girlfriend and he was cheating on her for a one night stand. My heart broke. I really don’t understand why people want to tell me these stories. Am I supposed to pretend like I can somehow empathize when they know I can’t? They’re obviously not telling me so I can say what I’m really thinking: That is disgusting and you know it! When did you loose so much self esteem? Aren’t you concerned about STDs? Please tell me you’ve never hand an abortion…
So my other friend walks over and they proceed to talk about how much fun hooking up is. One announces that she’s stopped using condoms now with her boyfriend and he just pulls out instead now. She talked about the days prior to being a relationship where standard protocol was to meet a guy in a bar and make out, then go on a second date to have sex. The other friend agreed, and then lamented about how, “Guys just don’t even bother with foreplay anymore.”
I quietly sat there while all this was going on, not really participating in the discussion. I guess that is why they decided to begin verbally attacking me at this point instead. Whether it was out of insecurity, or honestly believing I am a fool, I don’t know.
“Don’t you ever just want to have sex? You realize this is the 21st century right? You’re absolutely never going to find a guy that won’t have sex, never mind one that’s a virgin too. You just need to get laid, seriously. Seriously, just go out and fuck someone, you need to get over this. Stop putting sex on a pedestal. It’s not even that fun at first anyway. You realize all your past boyfriends were gay, right?”
The night ended with one of them accidentally spilling her entire glass of beer in my lap. Thanks guys. Awesome.