So the last two weeks have been interesting….
You may recall, a few weeks ago The Italian sent me a Facebook friend request, which I denied, but that that didn’t prevent me from trolling all the pictures and information I possibly could. I came across a picture of him with a group of guys, one whom I immediately recognized. I obviously hopped over to this page and remembered he had reached out back in January on Match.com to take me on a date. He was 42 (a big old for me) but I remembered he was a devout Catholic, and despite the age difference, he was attractive. So I shot him a friendly, “Hello.”
Well after it was clear The Italian was out of the picture, I realized his friend probably hadn’t received my email (with the new weird Facebook inbox) so I shot him a friend request, to which he instantaneously replied to gleefully and asked me out for a drink again. We went out the next day. He was very attractive, and definitely didn’t look 42. He was VERY in to being Italian (his parents were off the boat), but since I don’t have na ounce of Italian blood, and am a terrible cook, this worried me. I was upfront with him about how I came across his profile on Facebook. He laughed about it and was glad he had me out that evening and not his friend. We had a nice conversation and spent the better half of the evening together. I learned he helped run the family business – an auto body repair shop. Now I’m not superficial, and I won’t write a guy off for having an honest job, but he already had the age thing working against him. I joked how if we had kids, my entire life would consist of changing diapers, first theirs, then his.
I agreed to go out with him on a second date. We ended back at this favorite Italian neighborhood again (very original…), and it was this evening that I learned he actually didn’t have any education beyond high school. I continued to enjoy the date when I learned how much of a devout Catholic he was though, and was hoping perhaps the chastity thing wouldn’t be a deal breaker. So I agreed to a third date the following weekend.
By the time the afternoon rolled around, I was dreading going on my date with Guido. I went out and grabbed coffee with Church Boy after Mass and lamented about having to go out with the 42 year old again after doing a mental list of all the desirable traits he was lacking (independence, education, good job, similar ambitions, common interests and age). On a side note: I have put Church Boy in the friend zone after some disagreements about live-together before marriage and him realizing I am a prude. He told me a story about hooking up with his downstairs neighbor and I revealed to him I am chaste. He continues to want to hang out, so guy-friend it is.
I went out with Guido again because I didn’t want to blow him off, and surprise! we ended up at the same neighborhood again. I find Italian men attractive, but I find their obsession with the heritage obnoxious. When we were out, I straight up inquired about his living situation, to find out that he is still living at home with his parents. WOW.
He revealed that while he’s not a virgin, he is looking for someone that’s waiting until marriage. He said I made him feel “safe” because I wouldn’t be pressuring him for sex like all the other girls he’s dated. Wow, that’s nice. Not many like this out there. We talked about our future plans in life, and he wants his wife to work. When I asked who would raise his kids if his wife is working, he said his mother. Can you say MOMMA’S BOY? He has no desire to move out of the town where his parents or family business is located. He has no desire to continue to grow, self improve, see the world, or apparently be autonomous.
That’s when he lost me. The date ended in a kiss, and I felt bad because I knew he wasn’t really for me. For several days after he texted and called, asking how my day was and when he could see me again. I finally had to tell him I didn’t see it going anywhere romantically.
His response, “Wow, I didn’t see that coming.”
The 14 year age difference, the 6 year additional years of schooling difference, you living at home still and me living on my own, weren’t any indicators at all??
This dating thing is becoming exhausting. Every guy I am interested in isn’t, and every guy I’m not, is. I feel like I’ve had to literally break up with some of these guys (Military Man, Med Student and now Guido) and I’m not even in a relationship. It sucks.